


Freeze or make it forever, I feel a weakness coming on

by Rambert



Category: Original Work
Genre: Arguing, Begging, Body Dysphoria, Chatting & Messaging, Cheating, Cheating Fantasy, Cock Slut, Complicated Relationships, Cuckolding, Cussing, Dirty Talk, Explicit Language, Fighting Kink, Flirting, Freudian Elements, Gay, Happy Ending, Hate Sex, Horniness, Hot Sex, Insults, Internet, Late Night Conversations, Long-Distance Relationship, Lust, M/M, Masturbation, Moaning, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, POV First Person, Phone Sex, Self-Indulgent, Self-Lubrication, Sexual Fantasy, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Voice Kink, Wet & Messy, phallosexual, vaguebooking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 14:52:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23133574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rambert/pseuds/Rambert
Summary: As I sit there waiting for a response, I'm... flustered. And not in irritation like usual... no, there's something distinctly sexual about the way my pulse quickens to see a notification from him now, especially late at night after my partner's gone to bed.
Comments: 23
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dysphoria warning: words used to describe a trans man's genitalia include labia, dick, cock, and wetness
> 
> Entirely self-indulgent crap I started last night when I was in a Mood. May or may not be inspired by real people and events *cough* mind the tags.
> 
> Title is from "The Walk" by Imogen Heap which is the overall vibe I'm going for here https://youtu.be/7HWonXt4WcY

_You have no idea what you're talking about_, I type, then rapidly hit backspace--

_You really just want to believe your corporate-sponsored news huh? Have fun sucking Jeff Bezos's dick--_ more backspacing.

_You really just want to believe corporate billionaires, huh. _Enter.

As I sit there waiting for a response, I'm... flustered. And not in irritation like usual... no, there's something distinctly sexual about the way my pulse quickens to see a notification from him now, especially late at night after my partner's gone to bed.

Hence why I've started wanting to say things like "Have fun sucking Jeff Bezos's dick", because Freud nailed it-- I've subconsciously started to wonder what this tool would look and sound like sucking cock. My cock, specifically.

Somehow, something has shifted in this hate-relationship that I have with the elusive TJ, someone who I'm still not sure actually exists in real life.

He trolls the Facebook page of a mutual friend, although when I asked said friend a couple years ago what this TJ character's deal is and how he knew him, my friend said "Eh I dunno he added me in college and was mutual friends with a couple people so I accepted it."

Literally has never met this guy in his life.

Like... I don't understand that. Not because I think that meeting people online is creepy-- on the contrary it can be better than meeting people face to face in a lot of ways-- but specifically the way this guy will troll my friend repeatedly and bicker back and forth for DAYS with anyone who disagrees with him no matter how convoluted his points are or how bad his sources. He uses capitalist "logic".

He's also "conventionally attractive", whatever that means. Aka, the stereotype of Western Euro-centric attractiveness that I was sold as a young teen-- white, slender but not waifish, cheekbones for days, dark hair and eyes. Wears suits and all that.

The notification pops up and I inhale as I click it, scrolling down through the thread.

_You just need something to feel superior to "the news", have at it. _

Suddenly the raunchy thought of _I do need something from you, your fucking mouth on my cock_ flashes through my mind and I exhale, shifting in my chair. Where did _that_ come from??

My dick is _throbbing _against my labia already, and I can't say anything more like this. This is so embarrassing.

Even though I know he can't see me and has no clue what I'm feeling, somehow I feel like I have to close out of Facebook or he'll figure it out. He'll know I'm horny for him and will laugh at me for being so pathetic and wanting to cuckold my partner behind their back...

I can't help it; that's my fantasy though I'll never act on it.

But before I log out I can't help posting a vaguebook status, something I know everyone hates but we all do it from time to time anyway.

_Some people will just believe anything their corporate overlords shove down their throats-- _backspace, backspace, backspace.

_I don't have a need to feel superior, but if you're intimidated by me... good._

I stare at the blinking cursor, my mouse hovering over "Post". Then I sigh and delete it. What was I thinking?

But I'm still horny, so here's what I end up with.

_Arguing with people who believe corporate news never gets old_.

Post.

Am I really trying to bait him into messaging me? And will it work? I have no idea. But I click out of Facebook for good this time, and bring up some porn as my hand slides down my pants.

I watch almost exclusively dick porn. It's just what excites me; I'm phallosexual. Gender doesn't matter, but I do have a thing for guys and gals with deep voices.

And I love watching external dicks cum, oh my god it's so fucking hot. I wish that I had a proper dick, not this tiny one I've been cursed with. My hands could _pleasure_ a long external member, oh yes they could... this tiny nub can't appreciate the grip I could have. The _stamina_ I would give it, the stroke game I could bring... the creativity of things I would find to fuck.

I think about TJ's dick now, unbidden. Rather than seek to insult him with emasculation, on the contrary I imagine him having a giant cock, cut and veiny. I try to focus more on the porno but the mental images that I've created won't go away and I groan in frustration, my fingers getting greasy quick.

When I watch a thick dick squirt through a pair of boxers all I can think is that I hope TJ is as infatuated with me as I suddenly am with him. Even though that makes no sense at all considering he has made several negative comments about my appearance over the years.

Swirling wetness around my dick, I suck in a long slow breath and let my eyes close, not even watching the porn any more. I give in to the imagery now as it comes up of TJ masturbating furiously after arguing with me, squeezing himself tight with desperation. His mouth gaping in a silent "o" as he cums... fuck, it's so hot to imagine.

I imagine TJ sliding into my DMs with some argumentative shit, but then we start getting flirtacious and he starts telling me he's always been hot for me during our arguments... he tells me that he's touching himself just thinking about me... oh fuck.

Ohhhhh fuck yes. I'm so wet right now.

Then we... hah... then he wants to call me... he says he wants to hear me moan. And I agree to it, knowing that he very well could record this and distribute this around to my mutual friends and all of his but... I'm too hot to say no.

Imagining TJ panting on the other end of the phone line, I finally cross over that delicious threshhold between masturbating and pre-orgasm. That luscious, too-good feeling that intoxicates me, makes me do anything just to get another hit, washes through me like hot water and I shudder.

And imagining him getting off on hearing _me_, of shivering while listening to my wet sounds... it's too much.

The pressure peaks and I gasp and convulse, gushing all over my hand and feeling throbs course through me for nearly a full minute.

That had been... oh, that had been _good_.

But if he ever found out about this, I'd be mortified. After wiping my hand, I delete the Facebook status, grateful no one has "liked" or commented on it. What a bad idea that had been... this couldn't happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...if you would like this to happen again but raunchier in a second chapter, pls comment letting me know. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm just starting to think about shutting my computer off and going to bed when I get a message notification on Facebook.

And when I click open my messages, it's from my "Requests" folder-- my heart skips a beat.

It's from TJ. It's a screenshot of the post I just deleted a few minutes ago accompanied by the eyebrow-arching emoji.

_Typical SJW deleting your status, but I saw it._

That's it, that's the whole message, and I'm screaming internally as I try to decipher his tone. Is he amused? Angry? It's so difficult to tell.

With shaking fingers, I start typing back.

_Yeah and? Just proving you're creepy enough to watch my page even though we're not Friends on here..._

I hit Enter before thinking too hard about it and a little thrill goes down my spine when I immediately see the three dots appear, signifying he's typing something.

_You just want to avoid accountability and I'm tired of it. _

_Okay, so you're mad I deleted a status that may or may not have been directed at you. You've got the screenshot. Why aren't you making a post about it to mock me then? _

I hope I'm calling his bluff... it's late enough on a week night that nobody would even still be up to comment on said post until tomorrow, but at the same time my stomach swoops as I watch those little dots flickering. Maybe I've gone too far and he _will_ humiliate me now.

The dots disappear.

I sit there, adrenaline pumping through me as I practically vibrate with restless energy. Is he just not going to reply to that? Or did I actually call his bluff as I'd hoped to?

But no, the dots are back now and I go to swallow out of relief, only to find that my throat is parched. I get up to fill my water glass and glug some down, and by the time I'm sitting again he's responded.

_Unlike you I'm not interested in a spectacle. _

_Oh **really**. _ I chuckle aloud as I'm typing the rest. _ So what would you call our days-long arguments that happen every week, then? _

This time the dots don't show up for almost five minutes and I'm starting to sweat from nerves.

And when they do the response comes fast.

_ You're not going to bait me so easily_, _ Andy_.

I shiver at that.

TJ's never met me offline, so the only name he's ever seen me have is Andrew. That's the name I picked when I started college and got my Facebook account. (Yes I'm old, I was on Facebook back when you had to have a .edu email!)

TJ knows I'm trans, but I'm still not used to the pleased feeling I get when someone calls me by my name who's never known my deadname. It's... indescribably good.

But we're still arguing for the moment.

_You think I'm baiting you TJ?! You come into MY inbox with a screenshot, vaguely threatening... what am I supposed to think, huh? What do you want if not to torment me? _

I'm sending it before I'm even re-reading to scan it for errors; this is getting out of hand fast. I should just block him before I say something I regret, but those dots are up already and I'm riveted to the sight... the next few messages are exchanged lightning-fast.

_I want you to stop hiding who you really are every time you think it'll affect your woke status. _

_...What? Sorry, I didn't know you had a psychology degree. _

_I almost did. Learned enough to know how full of shit you are. _

_Oh, you're one to talk. You don't even HAVE any public statuses. All of mine are. _

_Just because you type all that shit out doesn't mean anyone wants to read it, Andy. _

_ Except that you clearly ARE reading it, TJ. I've got your screenshot to prove it. _And before I can stop myself I send a winky-face emoji right after it.

I sit there, fingers poised over the keyboard, waiting with bated breath for the next response. And it doesn't come. The minutes drag slowly by, and my anticipation gives way to frustration. Five minutes, no dots.

I decide to check my email, and pull out my phone. After checking that and Twitter it's been another five minutes.

Still nothing.

I'm typing before I can think better of it--

_ What's the matter, aren't you going to put me in my place? _I stare at the blinking cursor, but end up deleting it.

_ Cat got your tongue? _ ...backspace, backspace.

And then I realize that I shouldn't send a second message in a row, it'll look desperate. So I stop typing.

But as I'm debating whether or not to click off my Facebook tab and try to focus on something else, I see the dots signifying TJ is typing again.

_God, you just never shut up do you. _

_ Guess you'll just have to make me, then. ;) _I'm breathing harder now, my finger poised over the Enter key.

If I send this, I can't take it back as not flirtacious. It's _ definitely _ flirtacious, especially with the repeated winky emoji.

But I'm horny again, and it's late, and this conversation is really _ happening _ almost just like it did in my fantasy and... fuck it. I have to try.

I hit Enter.

_ Is that a come-on? _ is all that he sends back, and my palms have gone clammy.

In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

_So what if it is? Why don't you block me then, before your pretty girlfriend sees the dirty messages I'm sending you._

..._ If you're talking about the girl in my profile picture, that's my sister_, he sends back so fast that I can almost _ hear _ the defensiveness in his tone.

And then the words sink in, and I realize that all this time I've assumed TJ is straight. Or at least in a monogamous het relationship.

But I have apparently judged very, very incorrectly.

He's sent a slew of laughing emojis all of a sudden.

_Oh my god, you thought that was my girlfriend? I can't believe you're a PC SJW and you assumed my sexuality. _

_ How was I supposed to know who that was? There's no caption on the photo and nobody is tagged! _ I type defensively, then after a moment I add on _ But... sorry, for assuming you had a girlfriend. _ And hit Enter before I can overthink it.

And he's typing right away again.

_Just because you announce your relationship statuses to the world doesn't mean we all have to; my sister doesn't have a Facebook so I can't tag her... and by the way, what the hell are you doing coming on to me when you're married? _

I swallow hard, the reality and severity of what I'm doing hitting me full-force. Even online, this is still going to be cheating if anything happens... I have an open relationship but this isn't the way to do it.

But I can't stop. The thrill is too good.

_You gonna block me, dirty commie that I am? _

_Answer my question, Andy. _

I shiver at the authority in that tone and our exchange gets faster and faster.

_Answer mine first: why did you really message me. And why are you still. _

_Those aren't questions, grammatically speaking. _

_You're so annoying. Answer me or I'll block you. _

_ No you won't. Apparently, you want to jump my bones. _Accompanied by the smirking emoji.

It doesn't seem like a negative sort of bait, so I stay on course.

_And you don't seem too bothered by that. _

The dots falter only for a few moments before the reply comes:

_Guess I'm not. _

My heart is pounding in my ears as those three words ricochet around in my mind.

_ So what are we doing then? _I type, and hit Enter, then start typing again:

_If you're not bothered, does that mean you're interested? _

_Maybe... I'd be more interested if you stopped acting so goddamned coy. _

_ Yes sir! _ I send immediately, shivering again before typing _ So you're single huh? _

_Not that it's any of your business, but yes._

_Hmmm. So you're not just accepting my attentions out of sheer loneliness, are you? _

_You'd like to think that, wouldn't you._

I let out a little impatient whine at that, involuntarily, as I shift in my seat. Yes, I _ would _ like to think that, very much! Literally my fantasy at this point!

But what I type out is, _ I'd just like to know what **you're** thinking, mostly. Did this surprise you? _

_Not really. Our arguments have been getting pretty Freudian lately. _

I laugh aloud, at that-- perhaps I haven't been censoring myself as successfully as I'd hoped after all.

_Oh? You still haven't told me what you're thinking...but I guess if you ask nicely, I could tell you what I'm thinking. _

This is crossing a line and I know it... once we go here we can't go back. No longer will it just be playful bickering... but I watch the three dots come up onto the screen and my throat works as I fidget anxiously.

_ Tell me, _ is all he says, and I exhale harshly.

"_Fuck_," I mutter aloud, feeling nearly delirious from how turned on I am right now.

_I'm thinking... that I'd really like to suck your cock._

Dots show up instantly, but then disappear a minute later.

Then they don't come back, and I start to curse myself. I've gone too far.

But then a reply finally comes more than two minutes later:

_That's... out of everything to want, you choose that? _

_Yeah? I mean, you seem like you've got a nice one. _

This feels surreal to even type out, and when I watch the dots pop up for his next reply I wonder if TJ thinks I'm joking. I might, if I were him right now.

_Flattery won't get you far with me, _he teases back, the reply just defensive enough where he might actually think I'm joking after all.

Clearly, I've got to be more obvious about it.

_Okay well how's this-- I really, really wish I wasn't five states away from you right now because I'd suck your cock for real. And then if you felt like it after, you could return the favor and suck mine... _

_fuck_

That's all he sent just now. The word "fuck" uncapitalized without punctuation. It sends a hot jolt of desire through my guts, and I take that as a spur to keep going.

_I'd also love to feel you fucking me, pounding me from behind like the dirty slut I am, and knowing you're cuckolding Jayce... I haven't told them how much time I spend talking to you. I want to cheat on them with you so bad. I want you to cum in me. _

For a breathless minute, there's no typing on his end and I fear again that I've pushed too far. That I've repulsed him and that he'll take his revenge by exposing this on Facebook...

But then he sends _Fuck, Andy, what are you doing to me? _and I know that we're really _in_ this now.

_Hmm I dunno... why don't you tell me what I'm doing to you, TJ?_

_Making me want to steal you away from your dead weight partner, that's what. So you can suck my cock for real. _

I shudder all over at that.

_Hnn... are you offering to pay for a flight? Because I'd come. _

_Of course you would, you're all about cheap thrills. _

I can't help but laugh again out loud; it's amazing how TJ can insult me and himself at the same time.

_If I'm cheap, what does that make you then? You're the one allowing me to seduce you over Facebook messenger after all,_ accompanied by a tongue-sticking-out emoji.

_Hm, touché. I have to ask though, Andy... how long? _

_How long what, TJ? Be specific. _

_Ass, you can pick it up from the context clues. How long have you wanted me. _

_That's grammatically incorrect, technically speaking~ but I'll be nice and answer anyway-- I don't know. It's been a while, though, for sure. _

Suddenly I get bold and quickly add _I uh, may or may not have just had a solo session by myself thinking about it, and in post-nut clarity decided to delete that status. _

I get another laughing emoji.

_Really? You've been so forward just now, I assumed you were desperate to cum. _

_...Never said I wasn't, TJ. _

_...fuck, Andy, seriously? _

_You better not do this in person because this clueless act isn't sexy. _

_It's just a lot to take in, the tonal shift between you calling me a heartless capitalist to you practically begging to suck my cock. I'm still adjusting. _

I chuckle, but lick my lips as I type _Adjusting yourself in your boxers, hey? Can we get this party going, or what? _

_I thought you already finished yourself off!_

_Said I had one, that doesn't mean I'm finished..._

_God, if you're like this in person you might kill me. I haven't had actual sex in... years. _

_It's all right if you're rusty... I'm pretty vanilla all things considered. _

_Ah, no bull? I would have pegged you for a total freak, considering how pro-kink you are. _

_Oh I've got a few kinks, just none of the really controversial ones_, tongue-sticking-out emoji. _And if you like pegging, we can arrange that..._

_No thank you,_ laugh emoji. _Nothing against it but that's not for me. I'm... rather vanilla as well, actually. _

_Well then, sounds like we could have a lot of fun together if you booked me a flight... _

_You're actually serious, Andy? You'd cheat on your partner? _

I sigh in frustration.

_You are such a buzzkill. Can't we fool around on here first, have the depressing convo later? _

_No. I need to make sure your partner's not gonna kill me when they find out what's happened. _

_Oh my god, do you really think I can't be discreet? And my partner is too much of a softie to be a murderer even if we did meet in person. Relax, TJ. Imagine me sucking your cock... I'm very good at that, I've been told. _

_Yeah? By your partner? _

_Ugh. Lucky for you I do have a cuckolding fantasy. _

_Ah, there it is at last. So you're not really vanilla after all, are you. _

_If you consider cheating a kink then, sure. _

_I do... and I support it. _Accompanied by a winking emoji, then a hot-face emoji... the one people have used to symbolize being horny.

And just like that, the level of arousal which had been fading a bit from the argumentative back-and-forth splashes back through me, like sinking into the best jacuzzi. I shift in my seat, biting my lip and whimpering as my groin begins to throb.

_Good... because I really want to suck your cock, _ I say, then quickly add _have you ever done 69? _

_Once... it didn't go that well. But... I'd be willing to try again. _

_I'm flattered. _ I smile, feeling my stomach swoop pleasantly as I type.

_Because I've been told I'm pretty darn good at it... it can be really fun. First though, first and foremost if I ever get the chance to see you I'd choke myself on your cock. I want you to use me til I have trouble breathing. _

I can't help it; while I watch those dots pop up so _fast_ after I've sent my message, a thrill goes through me and I dip my hand down, fingering in between my folds again. I may have gone too far but I'm too hot to care now...

_Oh my god you're such a cockslut aren't you. Fuck, you keep this side of you pretty repressed don't you Andy... _

I groan, pulling my hand out and wiping it before replying.

_Can we stop with the psychoanalyzing for two seconds?! Tell me you're touching yourself like I am right now,_ I type, and sit there waiting breathlessly as the dots flicker on and off for more than a minute.

Which turns into two, then three... finally the response flashes up and I gasp.

_I am. _

_Hmmm... good._ That's all I send for now... if he wants to be cryptic, I can too.

And now that I know he's really touching himself too I don't even have to be chatting with him because my fantasy is literally coming true. He's hot for me just like I'm hot for him and _fuck_ it's making me delirious. I swirl my finger around my nub faster and faster, losing myself...

When I finally open my eyes (when did I close them?) I see that there's a message waiting for me.

_I've never fucked someone's throat before but... since you're so eager to try it, I must admit I want it. _

I shudder all over, unable to stop myself for a good half minute to pull my hand back out to type.

_Good... I want you to use me. Want you to fuck me raw and cum down my throat. But then after that, how will you take care of me, hm? _

I notice that his response is taking a while too and wonder if he's having the same problem as me.

_Well if you could be patient enough for me to get hard again afterwards, I'd fuck you. _

_Mmmm yes. For you, I have endless patience. Haven't I already demonstrated that? _

_You can't hear it but I'm laughing right now,_ he types, and suddenly I'm grinning, feeling something wholesome and giddy bubbling up through my intense arousal.

_That's fine. Laugh all you want, as long as you rail me rough... please, _I add, with the big begging eyes emoji.

_Begging already? Oh, you're lucky I'm also interested in being discreet about this. _

_Mmm, I'll beg you for anything as long as you're hot for me, as long as your cock is buried deep inside... please, TJ, please fuck me,_ I send, diving back in with my fingers.

The reply this time is longer still now, so that I get a pleasant jolt from seeing it finally flash up.

_Fuck, Andy. I'm so hot. It's getting difficult to take breaks to type. _

I hear that, and I wrench my hand away to reply _Mmm, are you saying you're close TJ? Are you gonna cum thinking about really fucking me...? About cumming deep inside my wet, greedy hole?  
_

I'm getting there myself as I return my hand and twist my hips, grinding into the maddening friction I'm creating.

_oh fuck_

I moan from the lack of structure in his response, meaning he's too hot to punctuate or complete a sentence... my fingers are truly dripping inside of me now, so I don't reply with anything except the hot/horny emoji.

Then he sends back _Andy_ right away, then nothing. No dots.

And I know that he's either cumming now or about to and holy _shit_ it's just about the hottest thing I've ever experienced.

I imagine TJ with his throbbing, large external cock in his hand, desperately fisting over his red-purple flesh in the pre-orgasm frenzy. He's moaning _my_ name. Imagining _me_ to cum, shooting thick ropes all over himself...

My body soars up on a wave of pleasure so fierce that when I cum I make an involuntary strangled noise.

"Hnnngggaa_aaaugh_!"

I flail around in my chair, feeling myself squirting in my pants and reveling in that greasy sensation.

This of course wakes my partner Jayce up, but not fully; they snort and roll over, muttering something as they re-settle into the bed.

I barely have the presence of mind to type back _TJ_ with my free hand and hit Enter before flopping back into my chair, still catching my breath. My brain feels like it's melting down the back of my spine, that's how hard I just came. Aftershocks make me shiver every few seconds for longer than I usually get them.

I feel fucking _fantastic_. Except that now, of course, in the post-nut clarity I realize that I've just cheated on Jayce. It doesn't matter that it was remote and long-distance, it still happened.

And now I don't know what to say to TJ.

"All right well, just woke my partner up so gotta go"?

Fuck.

So I just hang out for a minute, watching the blinking cursor on my chat window and watching for his dots.

It's a couple of minutes, but eventually he replies _Holy shit. _

_Yeah, _I send back, then a laugh emoji. _That was so hot. And so unexpected. _

_Really? You hadn't thought about us messaging each other? _

I hate that he's just called me out but I'm still feeling the bliss from the orgasm enough to be genial.

_Oh sure I had, but only right before it happened. I think I'm psychic. _

_Lmao. More likely that we both were reaching a boiling point. _

_Hmmm, indeed. I certainly feel like a limp noodle right now. _

_Lol you and your Dad jokes... _

_But there you are laughing at one. You're just as boneless as me ;) _

_Touché. _

I grin, shivering with one final aftershock as I sit up straight for the first time since cumming.

_So... what are we, now? I feel like Facebook rivalries don't usually include fucking. _

_Don't they? Hate sex is very much a thing... pretty sure we just did it._

_Oooh so is that it? Is it hate sex? _

_Sure, if you must put a label on it. I'm certainly not going to tell anyone about this though and I assume you'll be doing the same? _

_Of course, don't get paranoid. My partner trusts me a bit too much if anything. _

Speaking of, said partner was shifting around again and this time they got up, rubbing their face before getting out of bed to go to the bathroom.

"You still up...? How late is it?" they asked muzzily, blinking in my direction.

"It's after midnight," I say apologetically.

"Sorry for waking you up; I'll come to bed soon..."

"All right," they murmur before disappearing into the bathroom.

I finally dare to check the Facebook messenger window again, and have a reply waiting.

_I'm not paranoid. Just making sure we're on the same page. _

_Oh definitely. But I'm about to pass out now so... goodnight. Talk to you later I guess :P _

_Ah... goodnight then. Ttyl. _

I close out of the Facebook window and then log out of Facebook itself, shutting my computer down. I use the bathroom after Jayce is finished then join them in bed, curling close but feeling guilty.

I should tell them what I did... but at the same time, part of me knows that TJ isn't serious about having me come visit him so... what's the harm? Why not just keep this a secret for everyone's sake? I'm sure TJ doesn't actually want me to go, either. So this is fine. Everything is fine.

And I finally let myself relax and not feel guilty for enjoying thinking about what's just happened tonight... _phew, I'm gonna be horny by morning again_ is the last conscious thought I have before dropping off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Round 2, now with phone sex! I think I've gotten this scenario thoroughly out of my system now... hope y'all enjoy it as much as I did :P 
> 
> Tags have been updated. This will be the final chapter of this unless I get enough people asking for a continuation.

Sure enough, when I wake up the next morning I'm horny again.

When Jayce leaves for work I log on to Facebook and check for messages... but there aren't any from TJ.

I go to his page and there's no public posts but that's usual, considering TJ's one of those guys who keeps his page suspiciously private. Hasn't even changed his profile picture in years.

But somehow, seeing no message from him is almost... disappointing, even though it's not surprising. Are we really just supposed to pretend like this didn't happen, even between the two of us?

I click 'Home' and start surfing my Facebook feed, scrolling along.

I see that TJ's mutual friend of mine (whose posts we comment on, since I can't see any of TJ's) has posted something. TJ commented on it nine minutes ago according to my browser.

So he's online and doing stuff, just ignoring me. Cool. Well, two can play at that game.

But I can't resist vagueposting again just... to see if it'll work a second time. Shame him twice, shame on him, right?

_Woke up horny and-- _backspace, backspace. I have friends who I'm still trying to garner respect from on here...

_Frustrated with the state of things. _Okay, and? Where do I go from there? Backspace.

_Good night last night. Strangely satisfied and hungry at the same time now though. _

Post.

It's not lewd, and it's not specific enough to be an indictment _or_ a compliment at first glance, but... I can't help but hope it will work to bait TJ again as I go to shower.

I take my time, scrubbing myself thoroughly and moisturizing afterwards, but when I'm clean and dressed I can't help checking my Facebook again...

There's a message all right, but the contents make me frown.

_Who the fuck considers that discreet??_

_I do. Do you not know what Vaguebooking is? _I send back right away, wondering if TJ is paranoid about this type of thing.

If so, perhaps pumping the brakes on this whole affair is for the best... even if that's not what I want.

There's already a message flashing up for me, interrupting my thoughts.

_Oh is that what you SJWs call your attention-seeking behavior?_

_Well it's working, isn't it?_

Nothing, no dots. The minutes crawl by.

I sigh, frustrated, and decide it's not worth it to try and wait around for a response from TJ. I'm still quite horny and I open up some frottage porn, watching two very attractive people rub their dicks on each other and moan.

I'm just about to put my hand down my sleep shorts when I see orange flashing down on my Start bar-- TJ's finally messaged me back.

_I should block you. You're being reckless, Andy, and you know it._

Sighing again, I type back _Duh. _

That's it, and after hitting Enter I go back to the porn... but another message comes super fast before I can even think about ignoring TJ.

_So that's it? You don't care if I block you? _

_Not really, I'm masturbating to some pretty steamy porn at the moment._

I stare at the blinking cursor, looking at these words. If I send this, there's a distinct possibility TJ will block me immediately.

But he might not, and I'm willing to take that risk.

I hit Enter, and feel a thrill of arousal course through me as I go back to the porn and quickly shove my fingers down between my folds.

I turn up the volume of the porno with my free hand and really start to go to town, swirling moisture around the hardened tip of my cock.

When no message flashes up at the bottom of my screen I start to breathe a little harder, fueling my fantasy that TJ has blocked me out of righteous indignation that I dared to post about our interaction.

Of course, it's only _after_ my fingers are good and greasy that I see that orange flashing, and I have to wipe my hand before being able to click over to my messages.

_You think that'll work for you twice? _

_You think it isn't? _ I send back flippantly, then add _If you're not interested in round 2 then bye. _

_Are you trying to push me away?_

_Only if you don't want to fuck me, TJ. _

There's no dots right away so I go back to the porn, but a minute later it flashes up. I take my time stopping touching myself, lingering on for another minute before wiping my hand off once more.

_...Fine. I do._

I really wasn't expecting that, and by the time I'm checking the response he's already typing again.

_But if you're too busy with that porn, nevermind. _

_I'm interested! I closed out of the window_, I type, and dutifully follow through on my word.

_Is that so. _Smirk emoji.

_Yes... I woke up horny thinking about what we did, _I type and send, not wanting to overthink things now.

_Tell me how you'd want to fuck me TJ,_ I add right away before he's sent anything, and the dots that are on his end flicker then disappear for a moment before returning.

_Hm... I've been told I hit it pretty well from the back. _

I shiver at that.

_Yeah? You like it doggy style hmm?_

_Whatever, Andy, be crude. I know you're desperate for my dick... _

_Yes I am, _I send back along with a horny emoji and a few 'squirt' water droplets emojis.

_Not too worked up and close already are you? Or... are you?_

_Nnnnot yet... but I wouldn't last long if you fucked me right now,_ I admit, breathing heavier.

_You wouldn't... bet I'd scarcely be able to get inside you before you'd convulse around me. _

_Oh fuck, TJ, please please keep talking like that. _

I'm begging, and I don't care. I'm on pins and needles waiting for his reply... and when it flashes up I nearly gasp.

_Mmm... but I could keep fucking you, Andy... keep driving into your tight hole even when it's too much, to make you cum a second time before I've even spilled inside you... _

Oh _god_.

I didn't know TJ had such a filthy mouth on him but I am _not_ complaining... but suddenly, I can't help but wonder what he'd _really_ sound like.

Because for all our conversations over the years, we've never once heard each other's voice. And my dirty fantasies are all coming to life now, so, what's one more?

_TJ... I want to hear you. Please,_ I beg, quickly adding _Can... can we do this over the phone? I'm home alone... _

_You are? Well... I am too... _

_Please TJ... please call me... _I add my number into the chat box and hit Enter, waiting for a reply with bated breath.

But then my phone starts ringing nearby, and I feel my cock thrilling as I fumble to scoop it up and answer it.

"...H-hello?"

"...Andy?"

The voice on the other end is less deep than I'd imagined, but still sexy as hell saying my name all breathless like that.

"Yes... hi TJ," I exhale, feeling my whole body tremble at the illicitness of what we're doing.

"It's... it's really good to finally hear your voice," I add, laughing a little despite myself.

This whole thing is pretty surreal.

I can hear some breathy laughter on the other end and then TJ says, "Definitely never thought _this_ would happen a week ago."

"Hell, try two days ago," I reply, hissing softly as my middle finger rubs over my cock in _just_ the right way.

"Mmmm, but I'm so _hot_ for you right now TJ... what do you want to do with me...?"

"A-Andy..."

I try to imagine TJ shivering like I am right now, biting my lip as I listen to him.

"I want to fuck you," he says hoarsely, and my eyes flutter shut as I swallow _hard_.

"Yes," I whisper, urging him to keep going.

"Tell me, TJ..."

"Want to bend you over my couch and really _rail_ you," TJ continues, his words low and rough, and I can't help but moan openly as I feel more wetness flood around my cock.

It feels so _good_... and I start to touch myself a little harder, a little faster, more insistently around the most sensitive spots...

"Fuck but you moan sexy, it's so fucking hot to hear you like this," TJ groans, and I try to imagine him touching himself too.

"H-ah... wish I could see you too but-- I'm more into your-- _nnh--_ voice," I reply brokenly, shivering as my hips buck up into my hand.

"I wish you could... hnnn... be talking right into my ear for real, TJ, I like-- mmn, I like having them kissed over, and nibbled and I like my neck to-- be bitten..."

"Mmmnh... not really vanilla at all, are you," TJ says, and it might have been teasing except for how aroused he sounds.

"Wanna bite you, Andy... make you scream out for me..."

I whimper, and hear a noise almost like a growl on the other end.

"_TJ_," I moan, shuddering all over. "P-Please... oh god, please fuck me..."

"Oh I'm gonna fuck you all right... so hard you're sore after, but you'll beg me like a slut until it happens again because you can't get enough," TJ hisses, and I can't help but cry out a little.

"Yes! Oh _god_," I gasp, feeling myself about to tip over that delicious edge.

"J-Just a little more, TJ, please... 'm so close..."

"Gonna cum on my fat cock fucking you? Gonna squeeze so tight around me and make me bust too?" TJ breathes gruffly into the phone, his voice so gravelly that it grates across me like a physical sensastion.

All I can do is moan helplessly in reply, but thankfully that seems to be enough.

"_Do_ it then... cum for me, Andy," he growls, the primal tone of how he says my name sending thrills through my whole body and all of a sudden it's too much, too fucking _good_\--

"Ha_aaah TJ!_ " I scream out, gushing all over my fingers as I cum _hard_.

As I'm bucking in my computer chair and trying not to drop my phone, my mind barely registers TJ grunting rather loudly through the haze of my orgasm.

"Fuu_uuuck_!" He cries out at last, and I shudder all over imagining him cumming just as hard as I just did...

"Yes," I whisper, whimpering through aftershocks.

"Mmmmmn, TJ... that was _so_ good," I can't help saying, with a whuff of laughter. "Fuck..."

"You said it," TJ replies breathlessly, his own laugh bubbling through his panting, and suddenly I have a physical _ache_ that I can't kiss him.

Not that I'm going to tell him that... this situation is messy enough as it is.

I let my eyes close for a few moments, drifting as I get my breath back and my pulse slows. Eventually, this is going to get awkward but... I'm going to savor this while I can.

"Fuuuck, what did you do to me Andy..."

TJ's voice sounds dreamy, faraway. I like it. Really like it.

"Mmm... just brought to the forefront what we both wanted," I say, candid in the wake of such an intense orgasm.

"And... thank you, by the way... for calling... for trusting me with this."

"...It's... don't worry about it," TJ says hesitantly, and there it is-- the awkwardness, crashing down around us at last.

I sigh softly, sitting up and wiping my hand off inside my pants.

"I won't, I just... wanted to thank you. In case this ends up being just a one-off, I... really appreciate you taking the chance on me, that's all. But I should really shower now," I lie; I've just showered and am not going to do it again, but I'm looking for a polite way out of the conversation.

"...Sure. I should too," TJ says, and luckily doesn't sound upset about the abrupt end to this.

But he doesn't say anything else, so after a couple beats I can't help adding "So... _do_ you want this to be a one-off? Or can I ask you to call me again sometime?"

"...Do I have to answer that now?" TJ asks, with what sounds almost like a sheepish laugh, and it's very un-TJ-like.

At least, according to the mental image of TJ that I'd had prior to a few minutes ago.

"No," I say, letting him off the hook even though I really don't want to.

But I got us into this and I need to get us out, clearly.

"It's fine, just forget I asked. We'll... cross that bridge when we come to it I guess, but no pressure. I won't bug you."

"You're not... bugging me, Andy, this is just... all very new to me. Sorry I'm not as progressive and forward-moving as you when it comes to relationships and desire..."

I might have prickled at that if I'd seen it over text, but TJ's uncertain voice gives him away-- I know that he's genuinely bothered by his inability to roll with this situation as well as I have... or at least, the impression I've given him that I have.

Something inside me melts a little and I sigh, my next words very gentle.

"I'm not holding you to any sort of expectation, TJ, I promise. Whatever you're comfortable with, we can try, but I'm never going to push you. But considering your reaction to my Vaguebooking, perhaps it's best if the ball stays in your court now? You decide whether or not you want this to happen again, and I promise I'll respect that decision."

"...I do," TJ says, almost too quiet for me to hear, but a thrill goes through me when the words register.

"Y--... you do?" I repeat, not bothering to disguise my surprise. And... a giddy sort of hope.

"I want this to not be the last time we do this, Andy," TJ expands boldly, and I flush in pleasure, feeling a smile blossoming wide across my face.

"Well good," I murmur. "Because I was really, really hoping you'd say that. That it wasn't just me wanting this after all..."

"It's definitely mutual," TJ murmurs back, and the ache to kiss him returns.

"Wish I could kiss you," I whisper before I can stop myself, pressing my lips to my phone as if I could get closer to him that way.

"Maybe... maybe we will someday," TJ says, and my breath catches at how _sincere_ he sounds.

"Maybe we will," I purr back, licking my lips. "Hmm, but I should actually shower so... I'll talk to you soon, TJ..."

"Talk soon, Andy."

We hang up and I lean back in my chair, grin plastered to my face. I feel like I'm floating... like I'm hovering way above the world, up in the clouds, sunlight streaming around and through me. That's how delightfully weightless and boneless I feel at the moment.

And it's not just from the sex at all... no, my heart is now all a-flutter at those soft, genuine declarations that TJ has given me. That he wants not only this, but _me_. It's almost too heady to think about, but eventually I drag myself to the bathroom to pee and wash my hands and change into clean pajama pants.

But I find myself flopping back into bed after, feeling deliciously tired though it's still morning. I sink into a doze, napping for over an hour.

And when I finally wake up later and check Facebook again... I have a single-character message, from TJ.

It's a heart.

And I swoon as I send back three hearts in return, knowing that this is going to be something real after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you liked this I really crave feedback on my writing style/effectiveness and a comment would really make my day.


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